Sunday, February 15, 2009

Liberation Slurpee


The day I moved out I bought a newspaper from the gas station. I never buy a newspaper. As I left I looked across the street at the 7/11 and thought about trying a Slurpee. I've never had one and at the time it sounded like just the thing to summarize my independence. Not sure why...maybe the idea of trying something new - breaking out of old habits - showing myself that it's all a matter of perspective - I don't know, but I didn't get one.
Every day for three months on my way to and from work I passed the 7/11 and thought about that Slurpee. It gave me great comfort to know that validation of my autonomy was so readily available, yet the timing never seemed quite right.
~
This morning after packing up the last of my things and putting my friends' house back the way I found it (as best I could) I locked the front door and stood in the driveway for a moment. Three months seemed like such a long time last November and all I had then was a solid sense that, whatever happened, it would be ok. My only thought, as I looked around, was that half a year had gone by since our decision to separate and so many different paths could have been taken, so many decisions made differently, but I was going home - to a better home with more acceptance and possibility.
My liberation wasn't really getting away from a worsening situation at home, but learning to live better - to be better.
~
I stopped at the 7/11 on my way home and bought two Cherry Slurpees for $3.16. I took them into the house and handed one to Greg who was a little more excited than I thought he would be. We stirred them up a bit, braced ourselves for a cold delicious thrill and took the first big slurp of Cherry Slurpee. It was disgusting. We dumped them out and went back to town for doughnuts and coffee which were very good.
Sometimes liberation isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Forgive me for making a lesson out of a Slurpee but I think it shows that sometimes anticipation of the unknown is better than the real thing. Perhaps doughnuts and coffee really are what's best and it just takes a Slurpee now and then to appreciate them.

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