First of all let's make a distinction. I'm not talking about the grasping, whiny, insecure, manipulative, self indulgent selfishness - though that's exactly what most people think of when you say 'selfish' which makes it impossible to discuss. When the first thought of 'selfishness' is that it is bad you can't get much further because most people won't label themselves negatively and therein lies the barrier to growth.
But I digress...
The 'selfishness' I'm lobbying for is the kind that allows a girl (or guy) to assess personal needs and realize that having those needs met is important. When I say I'm selfish I mean it. The first thing I think in any situation is 'how does this affect me?' I think if folks are honest they'd have to admit the same thing...however...somewhere between that thought and action is some sort of codependent, guilt driven interference which denies personal need in favor of any number of things...maintaining peace, a desire for someone else to be happy, fear of outside opinion ...and on and on...
All I'm saying is that I think it's ok to be selfish. In the long run I really think it's worse not to be. How long before you're constantly giving up what you want or what's best for you...and the unhappiness settles in? Or how long before you lose yourself completely to what you think others want...or how long before the only way you can make your needs known is through some sort of manipulation?
And how long would it take to get your self back?
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