I bought light bulbs and a planner at walmart today. It was 10% of my 'miscellaneous' budget for the month. As of last Thursday I'm on my own for the first time in a long while.
I'm housesitting for a friend which is a direct result of my husband and I deciding we can't fix our troubles sharing the 1500 square feet we call home. The dogs and cats are with him for now and we're to spend this next three months getting square with ourselves and perhaps each other. For the very first time in my life I haven't a clue what's coming, not an idea in my head of what I want...except to be happy. I want us both to be the happiest we can be whether together or apart. I have always attached stipulations to my happiness, decided what I thought would make me happy and trudged after it, sometimes bagging it against its will and tying it up in the closet. I'd realize it wasn't quite right and look for a supplement in the same manner.
This time, however, is completely different. This time happiness comes first and the rest after. I will practice letting little be enough and teach myself acceptance...because all discomfort comes from resistance to what is (and no I didn't come up with that on my own - it came from a pretty cheesy book by Eckhart Tolle, but still true.) Regardless, I feel better now than ever before, never knew what it was like not to dread every drawn out detail of the 48 half hours of the day. Even my road rage is waning.
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